I have to re-post this article. A few days ago I had a plan to super-charge my website and start a huge push to build my email list. I upgraded my plan and started working on pop-ups and subscriber forms… and stopped writing and got really stressed! Sooooo…. I just reverted back to my original plan and here I am, re-posting this on my same old website! I am super grateful to all my readers I really think those who are supposed to find my words will.
Will I let this change me? Absolutely! I’m going to focus on writing which is my true love and stop dicking about with distractions!
My original post…
Years ago I had a friend who after her second cancer diagnosis declared ‘I won’t let this change me.’ She was sick of people, she said, who have cancer ‘going around acting as though cancer made them a better person.’ She was determined to stay the same.
I supported her completely. Whatever gets you through.
She did get through, but she lied. It did change her. She was always eccentric, but she began to dress differently, more theatrically, I would describe it. She did what many do when faced with a life-threatening illness; started to tick things off the ol’ bucket list. Some of these things had an effect on her, changed her, but perhaps that didn’t count? Always a big drinker, she drank more and I suspect, began to take other substances, as she was influenced by the new people in her life. One of her bucket list ticks included playing in a band, which she did so wholeheartedly, feet-first, irrespective of ability. She seemed happy. She went into remission.
We don’t see each other much any more. I was boring, and controlling apparently. It really hurt because I thought I’d been doing the right thing in supporting her. I missed the friendship but in the end it was a relief. I tired of her histrionics. I tired of the inappropriate behaviour around anything in trousers. We wondered afterwards if she had changed or perhaps just become more herself than ever.
I miss her. The old her. Before she changed. But I wish her luck, health, and every happiness.
Life is change. That’s the only thing I am certain of. Control is an illusion; let go or be dragged as the Zen proverb says. If you’re not growing, you’re dying and ‘staying the same’ is an illusion.
We can ask ourselves now, during the Coronavirus pandemic, will we let this change us? I hope so.
I’m a big believer that the unexamined life is not worth living and the unlived life is not worth examining. Most of us have plenty of time right now to meditate on the meaning of life. Regular readers will know that I don’t think life has any inherent meaning except what we bestow on it. We Creatives know (even if sometimes that is buried deep down) the way we bring meaning to our lives through our creativity. I see a lot of people posting on social media about their Netflix binges but now is a great time to read, write, learn, paint, play music, knit, sew, cook, etc. Start something new today, even if it’s just for ten minutes a day.
In two years, what will you be proud you started now?
Having said all that, my heart absolutely goes out to the parents out there who are not accustomed to being at home with small kids. I had one son and home schooled him for a bit. BUT, I trained as a teacher and I found it easy and fun. He was a keen reader and very curious about life in general and we didn’t have 24/7 kids programming back then. We had DVD players. Not only are parents worrying about health and finances they have to keep kids entertained so anyone in that boat, take the pressure off and consider it a win if you take a shower each day.