I can only imagine…

Listening to a podcast last week, I heard about the Hot Young Widows’ Club. Writer Nora McInerny, who became a “Hot Young Widow” a couple of years back, started the group and wrote the book. They do wonderful things for young widows, supporting them emotionally and often financially. It’s marvellous. And it’s heartbreaking to read the stories of all the young people losing their partner. They call it the best group you never want to join.

26 years ago when I became a widow at 22, I can only imagine what the people around me would have said/thought/done if I’d joined a group called the Hot Young Widows’ Club. My parents would have disapproved, my friends would have been concerned, and let’s just say that many others around me at the time would have lost their tiny, little minds.

This is not judgement from me at all! I say do what helps you heal! I can only imagine what it would have been like to have the kind of emotional support a group like this offers. I attended a widows’ group one evening, 4-5 months after T died and I was the youngest there by about 30 years. No exaggeration. One woman asked me if I was there to support my mother. Not for me, thanks…

I can only imagine how it would have felt to be allowed to be young and yes, hot, again. It was such an awful time in my life. As if losing T wasn’t bad enough! Dealing with the judgement and the outright cruelty of some people was almost as bad.

I can only imagine, because I never want to go through that again!

I’ve been writing about that time in my life for 15 years or so. I know that someone out there could be helped by reading my story and seeing that the loss of your significant other/life partner/soul mate isn’t the end of the story. It’s another work in progress.

You can read some of my writing in this vein here in Versailles.