I’ve been procrastinating and sabotaging myself like a boss this week. I was super busy yesterday, working to cover sick staff, going to an event with my husband, catching up with friends… Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans…
On the flip-side, I’ve also been listening to Tony Robbins a bit. Yeah, he gets me all pumped up, people love him for all that motivational stuff. He’s a master promoter and all-around really smart guy who knows what makes us humans tick! But he’s also a world-class philanthropist and employer of thousands of people. I’ve been reading and listening to him speak on the 6 human needs that drive us all. The one I am working on at present is the one he always speaks about first. That is the need for Certainty!
I could do with a bit of that right now. Couldn’t we all?
I am lucky! I have a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, clean water, people who love me…so I’m luckier than 80% of the planet!
So, my need for certainty is not in the Safety bracket, (check out Dr. Rick Hanson) the basic level of Maslow’s Hierarchy. I’m aiming for the Satisfaction level; I want my life and work to mean something! And I guess there is a little bit of the Connection level there too. I want to connect with others, share my thoughts, hear theirs.
But my drive for certainty is making me question the work I’m doing. After just a few months, am I going to fall for my old pattern of giving up, getting distracted by other things and not making time for my art?
If I stopped now, stopped writing this blog, stop trying to understand how to market my work, stopped trying to get people to read my work. If I stopped writing stuff that, at the moment, it feels like no-one is ever going to read, I would be certain of how things are going to play out.
Damn certain.
Because I’ve done it before.
I think you can guess that I am not going to take it lying down, this time! The difference? A bit of maturity, I suppose? Yes, I am determined to find my audience, to get my work out there this time because I am getting old! I’m pushing the big 5-0! That’s not a bad thing, it’s a fact and I am grateful for it; some people don’t get to be 50! But yes, this time, I am not going to give up because I won’t let myself. I am becoming more disciplined – not through deciding to be, coz God knows that wouldn’t stick! It’s through the tools I have been introduced to, that I’ve adopted. Through journaling, meditation practice and my daily writing process, I’m finally holding myself accountable
I couldn’t stop writing if I tried.
What else am I thinking about…? The Law of Attraction continues to fascinate me. Alignment is the key. This Youtube video is an interesting listen.
I am obsessed with patterns too, as I try to overcome a pattern I’ve taken from my parents. We all have them, it’s just that we’re either consciously or unconsciously running them.
Quote of the Day – 
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