Living the Dream

Life is pretty confusing these days. Everyone seems stressed, over-worked and underpaid, and for the most part, living for the weekend. The news is depressing, Facebook and Instagram confirm that everyone else is either in the same boat or if they are Jay-Z and Beyonce, on a whole other boat, moored off St Tropez…

Is anyone really getting what they want, other than Jay-Z and Bey? Is that Law of Attraction thing really working for anyone? I cruised a couple of LoA groups on Facebook and what I witnessed was a whole lot of people trying to fill gaps and gaping holes in their lives with money and stuff; trying to live the goods life rather than the good life.

The thinking goes that if we can just get that job, that car, that income, that partner, then everything will be hunky-dory! Sweet! Happy days! And if the recent sad deaths of Avicii, Kate Spade, and Anthony Bourdain confirm, fame and wealth simply are not fool-proof keys to health and happiness.

Dr. Rick Hanson talks at length about the Three fundamental needs we have. I was going to write ‘as humans‘ but I think all beings need these things – Safety, Satisfaction, and Connection. I think a lot of the dissatisfaction we experience, those things we sometimes refer to as “first world struggles” come in the Satisfaction category – the new car, the bigger house, the diamond ring… and too many of us are ignoring or trading off opportunities for connection for ‘things’.

If we have a roof over our heads, food on the table and clean water to drink we are doing better than 70% of the people on this planet. If we can find ways to bring joy and love into our lives in ways other than through consumption of the next big thing, then we will be luckier than almost everyone else on the planet, because the ability to find joy in the day-to-day is a very rare gift indeed, and one that we need to cultivate.

And, if we can find ourselves in a position to help others to cover those basic needs for safety, satisfaction, and connection, then we are the luckiest of all. Because that’s the reality of the Law of Attraction; learning to be happy with what you have!

I’m working on a big post on vulnerability, another on Post-modern thought and another on How Not to Self-Publish your Book.

I was journaling on vulnerability this morning. It’s a tough one for me. At home, I’m the nurturer who always puts herself last. The Mother, the Martyr. In the workplace, I’m a people-pleaser, my desperate-to-be-liked alter-ego I call Tamika thinks she’s a team-player, but she’s a doormat. She bakes muffins for her co-workers, is the first to offer to make tea at meetings, then comes in to find important decisions were made without her input. The beauty about this is it fits nicely with her world-view that she is just there to make up number, that no-one really really cares what she thinks, even though she is smarter than all of them… Cinderella syndrome anyone? The ultimate team-player I struggle to show vulnerability because in my mind it equals weak. I’m working on the post and on my own vulnerability.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown