Ever have that feeling of déjà vu? It’s something that intrigues a lot of people (and incidentally the phenomenon features in my novel Hôtel Déjà vu). Scientists explain it away with words like “chemicals” and “enzymes”. I’d like to think it’s a bit of a mystery, but that crazy feeling of having already lived or dreamed the moment leads me to further contemplation. Of course…
The fact that we feel like we’ve “been there before” could be that we all seem to live to certain patterns. Why? Our patterns are literally our habits of a lifetime. And as we go through life, the patterns become more deeply ingrained. Heard the phrase ‘set in your ways’?
So we’re going through life and work, doing what we’ve always done because that’s what’s comfortable. We might be miserable because we just can’t seem to do the work we ‘want’ to do or find the partner we think we ‘want’, but unless we change how we’re doing life, life isn’t going to change!
I heard someone really smart recently say that we are always “running a pattern, either consciously or unconsciously”, and once were aware of our patterns, we have the opportunity to change them (and perhaps the déjà vu stops..?)
Like any addiction, it’s only when we’re aware of our patterns that we have an opportunity to overcome them, to heal and move on…to the next pattern! Rinse and repeat!
The power is in the awareness and even if you spend a couple of years simply realising ‘oh, I’m self-deprecating again when someone praises my work’ or ‘I’m letting a friend push me around again’ then we’ll start making better choices.
Make no mistake, changing patterns is very uncomfortable! If the ego kicks in and warns us of all the dire consequences of taking a different kind of job or going back to study; imagine what the ego does when you walk away from work or people who are not good for you!
The irony of this fear of change, is that following the fear just leads to more fear and pain down the track! Think back to the last time you made a decision to take the ‘easy path’, to avoid the fear: took the job you didn’t want just for the money, went out with someone that wasn’t right for you for fear of being alone, it just led to more fear, right? I know it has for me!
For about a year, I was walking around with butterflies in my belly because I’ve made some pretty big shifts, but I’ve found that the cure for the butterflies is action.
Writing down my goals, affirming them regularly, tweaking where necessary, and working daily on my goals. Each day doing something to move me closer to my goals.
One of my patterns in the past was giving in to self-doubt when it comes to my creative work. Too often My Head would feel unequal to the goal My Heart had set for me. So, it was easy to give up completely on my work or study or take the easy path, following the well-formed groove into assisting other artists achieve their goals, or making work to ‘market’ rather than the work I was passionate about.
Now I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyway because the fear isn’t real! (Find this Book- Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers.) I know now that the fear is just my inner-critic warning me that I’m about to go rogue.
You can borrow my affirmation if you like…I borrowed it from Dr. Eric Maisel and it goes like this.
By doing all I can with all I have, the insight and inspiration to achieve my intentions will flow.
I’m pushing myself this year to heal my patterns and part of that is visiting new places. So, here I am in Daylesford. It’s pretty. And cold.