On Mother’s Day last year, I went to the cinema to watch The Salt Path. I hadn’t read the book at the time and didn’t really know what it was about, but I’m obsessed with distance walking right now, so it intrigued me.
About halfway through, my husband leaned across and whispered in my ear, “This reminds me of It’s a Wonderful Life.”
What he meant was that the characters being tortured on-screen with one bad thing after another made him want to abandon ship! It’s hard to see people going through hardship, but it was inspiring because they kept going. I kept wondering if they could have found emergency housing or tried to live in their van, although that’s probably a lot harder legally to do in the UK than it is in Australia, and the weather will literally freeze you to death in the winter.
At the time of watching, my husband had some pretty serious health challenges. We both found the movie inspiring. I feel like it’s such a great movie that lots of people should watch. Although it might be hard for those going through really hard times.
The key message I took from it was to enjoy life now; don’t wait until you lose everything. Don’t wait until you lose your health to appreciate it. Don’t wait until you lose your house, business, whatever – be joyful, regardless. And to take the stairs while you can!
But then… A whole heap of controversy erupted over the true story behind the book. The author hit back, and there’s a court case, I believe.
I obviously don’t know the truth, but I can’t comprehend why someone would write a false account of an event and then allow it to be published. I suppose the author didn’t know it would blow up the way it did, so I guess she just went with it.
Who knows what the real story is?
I want to do my Master’s in Creative Writing in 2027. I want to write a family memoir/true crime story about the murder of my foster sister and feel the support of the Master’s program will help me write such a tough story. The research alone is intimidating enough. I don’t want to write a story that upsets people who shared my loss or attracts the attention of the perpetrator. The last thing I want is someone telling me I’ve got something wrong or, worse; that I’m lying.
All I can do is tell is my part of the story as honestly as I can.
The Gold Coast Writers Association held its first non-fiction critique group last week, and it prompted me to create a workshop for those wanting to write non-fiction or memoir. I started writing because I wanted to write about a confusing time in my life, to make sense of it, really. Two people have read it, but I think I may be far enough away now from the events in that book for me to think about finding an audience for it… maybe…
I write non-fiction and memoir. The Art Inspired Writer is available now, and I’m working on my book on critique for creatives and a how-to manual for those who want to hold Write&Sip fundraising events. That kind of non-fiction writing is fun, but I’m hoping one day to write more memoir. That’s going to be decidedly less fun.
The memoir about my foster sister isn’t something I take lightly, as I said above. I’d love to write more about two defining events in my life: my adoption and subsequent meeting with my family of origin at 17, and the accidental death of my first husband when we were both 22.
Obviously, there are some big feelings involved.
In memoir and life writing, we often hear the phrase write from the scar and not the wound. I’ve been thinking about this for the last couple of days, and I’m not convinced that’s ever really possible. Writing while in the emotion is incredibly therapeutic, but even years later I can write about my first husband’s death from the wound. That loss will never not be a wound.
But it’s not for human consumption. This is why I burn my personal journals from time to time.
Writing out your pain is the best way to heal, in my experience. I had very little relief from so-called qualified therapists, more from those trained in the more esoteric modes, and the most healing from my own journaling practice.
Perhaps we should revise the phrase to something like write from the wound, but definitely edit or publish from the scar unless you want to destroy yourself all over again.
It’s not very catchy but you get my drift.
Sharing from your anger, pain, and grief with an eye on revenge is never a good idea. It could even be a good way to find yourself embroiled in a legal battle, and while the resultant story might feel good at the time, it may feel distasteful later on when you’ve healed more.
Write out your wounds and feel them heal more with every stroke of your pen, but share them only when you are ready and with those who will honour and support your healing.
