Insomnia

I developed insomnia as a teenager. I lived on three to four hours sleep a night for nine years. I read late into the night and woke around 3 each morning. There were times I would read until the sun came up. Add to that a tricky digestive system and Olympic-standard overthinking… I was a high-functioning hot mess; The lack of sleep helped me get a lot done at school and uni.

Things went south after Terry died. Dealing with his death was bad enough. I had no more resources to call on. I had been using anti-anxiety meds and sleeping tablets and still not sleeping for days on end. Nothing helped until I had hypnotherapy. The therapist taught me a bunch of sleep hygiene and other hacks but until I let him dig around in my head, nothing worked.

I get still get nervous when I have a couple of sleepless nights. I no longer ‘think for Australia’ but I do often lie there and ponder my current works in progress.

My sleep has been off for the past month. I put it down to a lot of things from my diet to travel to hubby trying to get used to sleeping on his back. It’s not great. Often I get up and write at 4am but then after a few days I just hit a wall. Plus it’s cold right now in the southern Hem!

Once again I’m waking around 3ish and the TCM clock says that’s liver/lung transition as far as I can deduce. I lie there for a while and finally grab my phone, which is on Do Not Disturb mode, and check the time. This morning, like every other morning, it was 3:47.

That’s a very signy sign!

Woohoo! I love a bit of woo.

I remembered a book a friend showed me years ago, an almanac of angel numbers. I Googled it and sure enough the whole book is online here. (A little aside…Doreen Virtue also wrote a book on Angel numbers but she has jumped ship and gone over to the dark side of fundamental Christianity. When you apply the lens of Spiral Dynamics to Virtue’s decision to turn her back on and denouce the new age spiritual community you see that she simply took the step from the Red meme, to the Blue meme. In Red, we live by the principle of ‘be what you are and do what you want, regardless.’ But my guess is that she had a real ‘come to Jesus moment’ and stepped into Blue where the guiding principle is ‘Life has meaning, direction and purpose, with predetermined outcomes.’ I recognise this transition because I did the opposite many years ago! I was trying to find my place in the church and ended up in the spiritual community. It’s so much more fun here! There’s a lot less guilt and judgement!)

Anyways… I read the listing for 347 and it was uncannily accurate. Hubby suggested I read the listing for 348 and of course the 3 and 4 were the same but the 8 put a different spin on it.

The ‘angels’ think I am nailing life which is nice of them to say. I don’t want to sound ungrateful but do they really have to wake me at 3:47 in the morning to do it?


This won’t help you sleep.

4 Comments

  1. lilianaslopez17

    I wake up several times at night, but I just toss and turn and fall back to sleep. I wish I could sleep all night long without waking up. I should get a clock to see the times I wake up. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Christine Betts

      It’s actually helped so much, knowing the time. It’s winter here of course and so dark. Like right now it’s nearly 6am and still very dark. So it could be 2am or 5:30am – so I don’t try to go back to sleep if it’s after 5.

      Liked by 1 person

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