What no longer serves

Let go of what is holding you back. Let go of your anchor. Lose sight of the shore.

This is a 9 year for me and 9 years are all about endings, all about being prepared to let go of anything that no longer has any use. 2020 is a global 4 year which is about transformation, if you let it, reckoning, if you don’t. It’s a global “death and taxes year”; nothing is certain except, alarmingly, death and taxes.

So…

I let go of fear. Decisions made from fear serve to give us more fear, while those made from love, bring more love (Paul Selig). A few years ago I took the Nightmare Job, the ‘better paying’ job, when the other on offer was exactly what I wanted. The shiny thing syndrome got me, the need for money got me*, the desire to show everyone that I could be better than my old colleagues thought I was, than I thought I was. I let go of fear because I no longer have any use for it. Fear can’t keep me safe. I let go of believing it ever could.

I let go of shame. I let go of feeling not good enough. I let go of the feeling that if I say the wrong thing you’ll leave. I let go of wondering when you’ll realise I am not what you thought. Be the person your dog thinks you are…no just be you, your dog loves you anyway!

Shame once kept me “safe”, or at least the church thought it might. An experiment 2000 years in the making has failed. Get over it! Let’s face it, shame doesn’t stop kids trying drugs or booze or sex. It just makes them feel nasty afterwards. For a long time.

I let go of lack*. There is enough. Even now, in this global cluster fuck, there is enough.

I let go and I won’t be leaving claw marks on these motherfuckers.

I hope it’s that easy.

And then there’s grief…

I let go of grief. Well, I continue to try and embrace meaning instead. The 6th stage of grief, finding meaning (David Kessler, the heir apparent to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.)

The power of the absent can’t help us if it just leads to nostalgia or despair.

Isn’t all that loss a waste if that’s all it is? Loss.

I believe this so deeply… We can mine that deep pit of loss for gems and in doing so, make the pain more bearable. What choice do we have? When we lose a loved one, when we get a diagnosis, when a dream is gone, what choice do we have? Will we just sit there and cry for the next fifty years? Does that mean you really, really Loved? Not just ‘loved’…

You don’t have to put away the photos. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything but if you look for beauty you’ll find it (and the first through 100 times you do you’ll feel a little guilt.) But I promise you, letting go of grief will let you breath again. One day the grief and sadness may just go, if you find meaning.

But be prepared; one day you may not feel the pain anymore and that’s okay, that’s healing. The love remains, that’s the best part. And if you are prepared to let go of loss and grief and build something beautiful, you’ll know joy again. I promise.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.