Did you feel it too?

The earth moved for us on Thursday and no it wasn’t a private moment; everyone on Bali felt it. A couple of tremors had us all abandoning our lunch and bolting out onto the street. People had their phones out, calling loved ones who were out shopping or sitting by the pool. My loved one was right there with me so I felt safe enough. We felt tremors while on Lombok in May but these were the strongest ones I’ve ever felt.

Have you ever had something happen in your life that rocks you, and not in a good way? Life, as you know it, will never be the same again…?

When these big life-tremors or full-blown life-altering earthquakes happen, we rarely look around to find everyone around us going through the same thing. It hits you when you’ve come from the hospital, or funeral, or your first day back at work, and you have to pick up some groceries. Your life is in turmoil, but you stand at the cashier and look around at everyone else and they are going about their day…as though nothing happened. No nervous laughter in the street about the crazy thing that just happened… everyone just living their life while yours has been smashed to pieces.

And then the realisation, and it might come years later, that every day someone different is coming from the hospital, from the funeral home, from their first day back at work after the miscarriage…

and you’re just going about your day…like nothing happened.

The day of the tremors would have been my first husband’s 48th birthday. I was having an out-of-body experience as I normally do on his days so feeling the tremors was almost, strangely…expected. You know, all these years later, I still think about him almost every day and on his birthday or our wedding anniversary (in two days time) I feel as though I am walking through treacle, gently pushing my body through the day and trying to feel it because he didn’t get to. I can’t even picture him at this age…would he have a bit of grey in his hair, perhaps a little beer-belly? I hope he would still be kind and funny and a huge Parramatta fan…Who knows the man he would have become? Really, he is the reason I push myself to do all the things; I do it because he didn’t have time. Life truly is to short and too long, not to.

“Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly.”

~ Paulo Coelho

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