I brag far too often that since I started writing each morning I haven’t beenblocked. If anything, I am oft heard to say, I have writer’s diarrhea. eewww, I know. Well, this morning, it occurred to me that I am blocked. I’m a blocked painter. I was listening to this when I had the realisation. I’m completely art-obsessed; have been my whole life and yet at the moment, I don’t paint. I even know the reason that I don’t paint.
It’s because I don’t think I’m good enough.
I see people like CJ Hendry and Megan Hess and I think ‘why bloody bother?’
This is the very epitome of a creative block but I had no idea.
There’s more than one type of Creative Block. Apparently I have a Number 2 Block (more potty humour, sorry). This is from Adobe’s 99U blog.
Creativity can be intense. It’s not a comfortable pursuit. Faced with the unknown, you may be scared of what you’ll discover or reveal about yourself. Maybe your subject matter is painful, embarrassing or plain weird. Whatever – all of these fears and qualms are just different forms of Resistance, leading to procrastination. Solution: You need to face the worst and come through the other side. There are plenty of things that can help — such as routine, commitment, and meditation. But ultimately you are going to have to endure the fear, pain, or other unpleasant emotions. It’s like getting into a cold swimming pool — you can dive in head first, or inch your way in. Either way, it’s going to be bone-chillingly cold. But once you’ve got over the initial shock, done a few lengths, and got into the flow of it, you may be surprised to discover how invigorated you feel.Mark McGuinness ~ 7 Types of Creative Block (and What to Do About Them)
I will dive into a cold pool, but I am terrified of putting out terrible artwork that nobody likes and is destined for landfill. I mean, I did that for a living for years… The real kicker for me is the time, though. Time spent making rubbish artwork could be spent improving my writing, reading something, etc. Time wasted…
If you’re overwhelmed with dread, that’s a good sign.The real artist is always terrified. The fake artist is wildly self-confident.Steven Pressfield
I am most certainly not wildly self-confident. During journaling on this I wrote these words…I would paint if…and this is what followed ‘if I was better at it…’
Something to think about.
Feature Photo by Esther Jiao on Unsplash