At ease with not easy

Finding the middle way. Not pushing too hard but pushing enough to eventually push through? Not spiralling into fear but also not opting out. This is why yoga is a million times more interesting and important than the headstands on the yoga accounts on Instagram.

Practice of asanas is practice for life.

Bending that front leg a little more, a deeper Warrior 2, mindful of where my hand is. Is my body bent back? My hips are open but are my thighs rolling out? The teacher puts her warm foot gently behind my knee and *encourages me to go a little deeper.

“Be okay with not easy,” she says to the class.

{Once I would have freaked out about a foot touching me, I realise hours later while writing this. I am choosing the middle path at times, unthinkingly, which makes me smile.}

Is my knee going to hold me up? Of course, I might be nearly 50 but my knees are only in their 30s, surely. Sometimes I take a peek at what another body looks like in a pose. I compare it to what I think I look like – What the pose should look like. That’s not the middle way, but then I release judgement on the judgement because that is not the middle way, either.

I’m at ease with the deep stretch although I know I will feel it tomorrow or maybe the next day and a bit later I do some forearm balance prep for the pose I’d given up on. I’m pushing myself again but I don’t think it’s a bad push. The pose isn’t easy but I’m okay with that. I’m okay that I might never hold a forearm balance but I won’t give up building the strength I need for it. You just never know.

My knee holds me like the warrior I am, not the worrier I can be at times.