I’m happy if you’re happy

No pressure then?

We do this to our loved ones, don’t we, and sometimes they do it to us.

‘I just want you to be happy’

‘Happy wife, happy life’

Advice is like dog shit…nobody wants it, not even the dog. Harsh but true. But when we see our loved ones going through hard times or working with a bully (been there, done that) we tend to rush in and want to fix it all, make it better. We think we know what’s best for them and if they were to just…do that…then, voila! Everything would be hunky dory! It can be a little bit judgemental at best, and at worst, we put our happiness in the hands of other people. It also puts the pressure on. What if I’m not happy today? What impact will that have on you? Is it my fault you’re not happy…?

When I was working with the worst bully in the world, my hubby used to say ‘Quit the job’. He just wanted me to be happy but I loved that job. I was determined to rise above it all and I was determined to win! (And win I did! I ended up being his boss and when I left, the former-bully told me I was the best boss he’d ever had!)

How hard is it, too, to see someone we love struggling with their weight? It’s a mine-field. We want them to be well and healthy so they are enjoying their lives to the fullest and so they are around longer. Is that selfish? Is it overstepping? Is it loving? It’s important not to shame people for their current health situation but still be supportive of their efforts to get their weight into a healthy range. I think consulting an expert would be very beneficial, but I mean a real expert, not just anyone from a weight-loss programme. A GP or dietitian is essential.

Speaking of experts, I had a friend years ago who gave me the absolute worst advice when I was going through some relationship issues. The advice she offered, had I followed it, would have probably killed my relationship and I have to wonder if she knew what she was saying… Was she trying to sabotage my relationship? I’ll never know, although, my bad for asking a newly-divorced friend for advice about my relationship!


      1. Christine Betts

        Yeah I don’t think I am…I have 6 brothers, a dad, a son and a hubby and I’m always sticking up for men’s rights – to be treated the same way I want to be treated really. I will speak up for guys because they get the rough end of the pineapple sometimes. I like what we talked about ages ago – that we’re all humans and should all just be given the same love 💕

      2. Kalliope

        100% I love men. I also love women. But this whole thing is so damn petty that non gender binary people are copping it. And then it’s like they’re the new enemy??! Please, it isn’t so. But nothing unifies a group of people like war.

      3. Kalliope

        Holy crap, are you a centralist? Like I don’t even know if that is a proper term.. But it’s like.. super moderate. Because my husband says the same thing.

      4. Christine Betts

        Did you see the ridiculous post Doreen Virtue did in the last few days. She’s pissed off a lot of people with her scaremongering and judgement. Would love to know your response to it!!

  1. Kalliope

    Oh my lordy lordy. I know she changed she stance and stuff but seriously, what a fucking cracker. There have been a other people who aren’t so famous that I saw this happen with as Well. Like… a satanic high priestess who became a Jesus freak. And I was all for “kill god, awaken yourself as god!” And they were like “put your manners in how dare you disrespect god” and I’m like… “ummm… everyone is god..?” And wanted to cry so hard. Because I’m the person who sees people as divine, or capable of being divine. They just don’t see it in themselves. I don’t see myself as better than anyone, I just have a different perspective. So the left hand path and the right hand path see me as opposed to both of them when really I’m just trying to fucking connect the both of them and say “we’re all in this together. FFS” like… this really fucking kills me on the inside. Because the only metaphor I’ve been consistently using is that I come from the heart. I love. I like. I’m in between the left and right. I’m behind the sternum in the middle of the chest. Between the head and the gut. So… the central point between up and down, left and right. Like the centre of a pinwheel. Why can’t we all just get along.

    1. Christine Betts

      Totally 100% agree. So we’re both centrists 😉🤨 I’m preparing a blog on Doreen from an integral perspective. It’s called From the New Age to the Bronze Age. The resurrection of Doreen. 🙄😛

      1. Kalliope

        Hahahaha what resurrection? Insurrection? LOL I just posted a thingy and mentioned you but didn’t link. I’m on my phone and links are the worst unless you remember it my heart.
        I love that we’re in sync. Seriously. And I can’t wait to read what you’ve got planned 🤩

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