Despite the fact that I have had my own business on an off for more than 20 years, I realised this year that I suffer from a form of ’employee mentality’. This came as quite a shock. I’ve always loved the freedom that comes with having your own business but what I really crave is a team. I want to work with a group of like-minded peeps who love what they do and are kind and decent. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for…?
Full disclosure – in any scenario less that this, I probably need to be the boss of the team. I’m no monster – I don’t need to be the boss if everything is equal and fair and for the greater good – I am more than happy to be a cog in the machine – but as I found in the Dream Job, I don’t enjoy being part of a team in a company that silos (See What I learned this year #10)
When I quit the Nightmare Job (the one that came after the Dream Job – the one that tested me to make sure I really had learned all the things I thought I had learned last year!) it took me a few weeks (months!) to settle into the feeling of not needing a job.
I love working. I can’t believe I was missing the daily grind! Crazy, I know.
It’s incredible too that I had always said I would never be able to work alone (on my paintings) in a studio all day, and here I am, happy as a clam tapping away on this keyboard, or sitting alone in a cafe or by the beach, writing in a notebook. (Interestingly my Myers Briggs profile has changed over the past 10 years from ENTJ to INTP).
Once I relaxed a little and settled into going into the office (of our business) on an ‘as needed’ basis, I was able to stop habitually scanning LinkedIn and Seek for jobs. This came at a very good time because while I was offered 2 very good jobs, both came with long hours, travel and a hefty commute. I applied for lots of part-time and casual jobs but my CV and experience had me pegged as a ‘flight risk’ even though I just wanted to work a few hours a day to give me time to write!
These days I like the quiet of the office which is a huge change considering when I have worked in the business before, I managed the production floor. I have always been more comfortable bossing people about… I am so grateful that I have this time to focus on my writing and do not take it lightly. There is bare-minimum procrastination going on here! Now I don’t have any staff I just boss myself about!
But watch this space – there is some team stuff on the horizon for 2019!