What I have learned this year #17

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. ~ Tom Robbins

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time dissecting my childhood and adoption but I learned this year that hyper-vigilance is a very common trait in adoptees. It makes total sense. We don’t come into the world as a blank slate. We learn a lot in the womb and for an adopted child – a tiny baby or small child – they must relearn how to fit into the environment in which they find themselves and understand very quickly how to have their needs met.

This was a great thing to learn but even better to learn that no matter your age, you can heal yourself. You can use all kinds of tools (yes journaling and tapping- see the video below.)

It gets better- you can also heal ancestral trauma.

This may seem a bit too woo for some readers but if I am able to convince myself that I can heal my pre-birth trauma and go back through my ancestral timeline and deal with old hurts and beliefs then why wouldn’t I?

If you believe you have inherited a certain personality trait from a grandparent or their personal trauma impacted your mother and then you, why not take the opportunity to try to heal that? Even if it’s just to avoid passing it on to your own children!

Sciencey people have found proof that stress in the parents has an impact on their future children- children who are not yet conceived. Babies conceived in New York in the months after the attacks on the World Trade Centre were tested due to a hunch by a researcher. Every child had higher than average cortisol levels. There is also a well established body of evidence showing the effects on the children and grandchildren of the WW2 Holocaust survivors. And researchers are currently looking at the effects of slavery and oppression in the African-American community.

It is a very interesting subject but I hope people use the information to inspire healing and growth. We need to know where we’re going but it can be useful to see where we’ve already been, especially if we feel stuck.


  1. Janet Mary Cobb

    Christine, I do believe that the trauma of one generation can be felt by the next. I do believe in healing. That said, I think it is important that as we heal we do NOT allow the injustices or evil that created the trauma to continue or morph into new variants. Sometimes people are urged to heal before they have grieved or righted the wrongs. Thanks for the thought-provoking post!

    1. Christine Betts

      Very true. Although in my case I have no choice but to forgive and keep moving on. In one case I’ve tried many times to call the person on their crap to no avail. All I can do is work on myself and hope they burn out or fade away to use an old rock and roll term 😉

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