Extrovert AF

Scrolling through social media can be hell on our mental health. I’m no expert but plenty of sciencey type people have confirmed that in general, social media can have a negative impact on most people and suggest that if you feel bad after using the networks you should delete the app.

I deleted the Facebook app from my phone months ago and only use it in a limited way. I rarely venture near Twitter, the home of most of the worst things about the Internet and I’m far too old for Snapchat. But I do love my instagram.

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that most of the other writers I’ve connected with on Instagram are quite proud to declare that they are introverts. I’d love to hold some kind of poll because I’d wager most writers would identify as such.

As for me, I’m most certainly not an introvert. I am about as extroverted as you could get. I love public speaking, mosh pits and going to new places. It’s complicated by the fact that I am also highly sensitive and suffer from the same social anxieties that most people do these days – I wonder will people like me? Will they listen to what I have to say? Will they welcome me or reject me? I’ve always thought my fear of rejection was an adopted thing, but I know now that most people suffer from it sometime in their life.

I’m not an introvert but I know what it’s like to dread going out. I get my energy from interesting people, from having great conversations and engaging with people so imagine how rotten it feels to fear rejection in social settings or even from family. My first mother in law hated me. She detested me. It’s something I’ve had to learn to live with. For some reason people love me or hate me. There’s rarely a middle ground.

I’ve learned to embrace myself as I am but for years I avoided parties and events because I found most people didn’t really get me. I even began to refer to myself as unlikeable.

My sister and I were briefly discussing this week how everyone just wants to be seen. I’m going to research Arthur Aron’s 36 Questions to make people fall in love. I think they work because people feel seen.

I’ve always stuck out like a sore thumb, as my mum would say but I’m not sure I’ve been “seen” terribly often. HR people have described me as having a strong personality so this is probably why I usually end up as the boss.

So yes, I’m a proud extrovert. I’ve learned to accept myself as I am but more importantly I’ve found I judge those around me less harshly and I’ve learned a lot about communication with others. And if someone doesn’t like me I can now see it less as rejection and more as a cosmic redirection to quote a friend’s Instagram post.

Check out more of these beautiful cartoons at Twig Seeds 💕

I saw this on Instagram this week and my first response was “pigs arse”. This kind of unconditional acceptance has certainly not been my experience in life. But you know what? It doesn’t matter any more because I finally understand that if I love and accept myself as I am, and I’m doing my best to be kind, genuine and compassionate, then what others think of me is none of my business.

Bonsoir et bonne nuit mes amies! 💕


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