To stay the course or to change streams?

Scroll down to content

I’ve had a stream-change hangover since stopping painting, but it’s not at all about missing it, or wanting to paint. It is 100% habit driven. I have lost count of all the times I have vowed to up-level my art career, only to fall back into the habit of self-doubt and sabotage. It’s awful, yet essential to admit this, not only to myself but to those around me.

But now, I have zero regrets after walking away from painting. I worked as an artist for over 20 years on and off and made a good living at it. I’ve made the decision to leave that part of my career and concentrate on my writing, and it feels right.

The hangover is simply the necessity; my drive for certainty wants me to take the road most traveled. Do what you’ve always done, it whispers.

Back off bitch.

I know that I’m on the right path because the writing makes me feel good. Alive. Joyful.

I love the daily act of writing, easily hitting my goal of 2000 words a day. The thing I need to push through right now is that habit of being lazy, self-sabotaging and then making excuses.

I need to break the habit of being me, as Dr. Joe Dispenza puts it!

To stop asking myself “who am I to write a book?” or “who is going to want to read what I write?”

The hangover that’s been haunting me has been the shadow of all these past ‘failures‘ asking me if this is just another one…another time where I quit painting only to return penitent at a later date to try again.

Today, my sister introduced me to the term Sunk cost fallacy. This refers to the refusal to move on from a career, relationship or other life situation due to the time, effort or money already ‘sunk’ into the endeavour. I have sunk a lot of all three into my painting career and see this fallacy for the cheeky bugger it is.

The truth is, I can’t even imagine a time when I will want to paint again, even for the fun of it. I still love to talk about art, to mentor young artists, to visit museums, read about art, write about it…but I have zero interest in picking up a paintbrush. This isn’t said in a negative way and that’s how I know it’s real. I love all of the above aspects of art, but I am completely indifferent to the idea of painting myself.

Indifference is the true opposite of love, not hate! 

So now I stay the course. I’ve set my goals and move daily towards them. Sometimes it’s baby steps and sometimes I surprise myself and make a leap.

We owe it to ourselves to follow through on our dreams, and as we bring our gifts out into the world we give others permission to do so as well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Writing, Publishing, and Marketing Ideas

Literary Remains

Some Things Are Better Off Read

Aaron Caycedo-Kimura

Painter, Poet, & Cartoonist

The Darkroom

Gary Allard's photography exposed

Debatably Dateable

But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for

Greater Than the Sum

Andrew's take on the world

Aidan J. Reid

Sci-Fi Nut First. Thriller Author Second.

The Working Writer

Pro Advice For Freelance Writers

Dad's 80th Birthday - 18th December

The Best Dad in the World! Celebrating 80 years and 55 years of being a fantastic father and Grandad!

A Writer's Path

Sharing writing tips, information, and advice.

The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

Here and now, with all of it.

Whims from Valadae

Official Site of author N.R. Eccles-Smith

Investigative Journalism Scotland

Human Rights Abuses UK; Secretive State Ritual Torture+Assault Targets

Your Guide to Symbolic Meanings and Signs

Award-Winning Author Nicole Evelina

Stories of Strong Women from History and Today

%d bloggers like this: