“Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism.” Julia Marks
Vulnerability and my story…I have returned to my memoir. All this vulnerability stuff is pushing me that way. I need to tell my story. I wrote a version of it 12 years ago, but it’s terrible. Oh my God, when I say that some writing needs to be burned like medical waste, I was referring to my very first attempt to get words on paper.
I see these 20-year-olds who are creating start-up Unicorns and then I read my memoir written at 34 and think, sheesh, how did I manage to raise a child and run a business…
I was always afraid that I wouldn’t do it justice or that I will upset people, but the hurt is gone around how other people treated me then.
The story I will write now is vastly different to the one I would have written 20 years ago, or even five. I want to write
Vulnerability and Adoption
I have a major problem with vulnerability. The dictionary doesn’t help, describing it as “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”
I know it has a more complex meaning but this is the essence of it. Allowing myself to be vulnerable meant a lot of fear. This is a fairly common problem for adoptees, I am told. The Nature/Nurture debate is so last century; we are a complex combination of our genetics and our environment.
When you’re adopted, you have to learn to fit in, become a new person, especially if the person you are authentically doesn’t gel with those in your new life.
I feel brave talking about adoption. But it feels authentic.
What else am I thinking about?