This year is made from a weird sticky substance and it has been a thousand weeks long. Normally at this time of year I’m walking around asking “where did the year go?” but right now February 2024 feels like a million years ago. A lot has happened. It’s my first year without mum and everything is the first time I’ve tackled it without her. I had to remind myself twenty times to be careful when I went to Bali in May.
I don’t even want to talk about the fact that this time 8 weeks ago I was in Paris. 8 Weeks! Sigh… Time is so weird.
The Friction Audit… While I was waiting for the rain to stop in Thailand, I listened to a Mel (no relation to Tony)Robbins podcast and she talked about doing a Friction Audit. I really wanted to hit the ground running (writing-wise) when I got home so I needed to work out what was stopping me. What needed to change for me to take my writing where I wanted it to be?
So here’s my friction audit…
Step 1. Where is the friction? What is slowing me down? For me this question applies to my path to creative success aka making a career as a writer.
The day-to-day – Grocery shopping – ugh! This is a big big big pet(ty) hate for me. Making lunches for the boys (and by boys I mean grown-ass men). Not being organised and getting distracted. Bad sleep (Husband snoring…) Exercise – choosing the wrong times to go to the gym. Getting drawn into conversations that don’t require my attention or input.
The inner resistance – Fear of failure but also weirdly a fear of success. A reluctance to do things on my own – the desire for connection (The other Robbins, Tony, talks about the 6 Human drives. The lower ones – Variety, Certainty, Significance and Connection – and the higher ones – Growth and Contribution. I am not gonna lie, I love me a bit of top-quality connection.) Messy office – My work space didn’t feel creative enough. It certainly wasn’t pretty enough to spend as much time as I needed to.
What are the biggest sticking points for my creative business? Not treating it as a business, aka giving it the time and attention it requires.
What do I hate? Being the chief-cook-and-bottle-washer (as mum used to call it) of the family. When the business takes over our lives and when we have to cancel things because of the business. After 16 years, it was time the day job learned its place.
Step 2. Is there a way to remove or lessen that friction?
I had to deal with the hate first… Ask the boys (aka grown-ass men G.A.M) to do more. ✅ Tell the G.A.M to leave work at work and finally, refuse to allow work to dictate how we spend our time. ✅ Our son is sooo much better at this than we ever were and empowers his excellent staff to do their jobs properly.
Okay, that wasn’t so hard.
It did help that my son moved out. It was time. Covid-era house prices being what they are, it’s tough for kids to move out. He needed it. We needed it. The cats didn’t need it but they’ve learned to live with it.
the cats are adapting…
Home delivery of groceries or at the very minimum, click and collect. I haven’t done this yet because I’m still getting used to the boy not being here. Okay that’s an excuse. Next week, click and collect.
Exercise each morning. I’m doing this and choosing to go to the gym later or earlier, not in the middle of the day when time seems to disappear faster. ✅
Writing each morning. I’ve been doing this for years and its the only thing that’s kept me remotely sane. That and the meditation. Write for 5 hours a day. ✅
Step 3. Confirmation. What results am I seeing?
Well for starters I am a lot less stressed. Work stays at work and I try to stay away from the place. ✅ Our PA is doing an amazing job as is our son who is the best GM. ✅ It’s wonderful to see him growing and learning.
I finally finished my contemporary romance novel✅ (85k words) and sent to my dream editor. ✅ Right now I am rewriting another manuscript to enter a development prize. Once it’s done, I will return to work on my non-fiction book on criticism. In the spare moments I’m working on short stories and creating writing and creative workshops.
There is a lot less friction in my life by design and I feel so damn lucky to be in a position to make the most of this time. Who knows where this will take me? I don’t really think about where because it’s a fantastic journey just giving it my all and I know I’ll find myself exactly where I’m supposed to be.
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