Right now life feels a little like wading through treacle. Where I live it’s hot, hot, hot and everything feels weird. I am not the most patient person at the best of times and now the impatience feels like it’s at boiling point.
#Last90Days used to carry me through these amorphous weeks at the end of the year but since 2021, it’s been a challenge to stick to the ‘challenge.’ In 2021 we had the border closure, in ’22 I injured my shoulder and had to rethink a lot of things, and this year I lost mum.
I journaled this morning on what I have achieved this year and I felt a little more relaxed, a little more uplifted. I’ve done some stuff. It’s all good. I can relax and lie on the couch with the cat and read a book for a few hours without the world falling apart.
Yes…I can…Up to a point, then I’m off an running again. I’m pretty insatiable when it comes to getting shit done.
This morning I wrote my goals for the coming year. They include my core goals:
- Through daily writing I continue to build my audience and find my voice as a writer
- Through daily exercise and healthy eating I am healthy and strong.
- Through daily care and attention we nurture our business and income
- Through daily meditation and self inquiry I am growing and healing.
And some new ones:
- Finish Real Friends Stab you in the Front (my non-fiction title on Criticism.)
- Finish Death of a Show Princess (which will be getting yet another new name and a rewrite…)
- Finish Circle of Ash (five years in the writing – I want to finish it this year.)
- Weekly Blogging
- Weekly Medium posts
- Study French daily
Very writing oriented, I know. I’ll find time to fit in some art-making, travel, teaching, and being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and human. I’m planning a long trip to Europe with hubby including a solo immersion retreat where I might actually learn to carry on a conversation in French.
I want calm. I want peace. I want success and thriving for everyone. Life isn’t a zero-sum game and the rising tide truly does lift all boats, if they’re not stuck down into the mud. Having goals and writing them down isn’t a magic bullet but it certainly helps to focus the mind.
2024 will surprise and trip us up just like all the other years. Life’s like that, but keeping our heads up and not letting life drag us down certainly makes it more fun.
Taking the thousand foot view of the year helps. It’s so easy to be so focussed on the messy leaf litter and trees blocking your view and miss the forest altogether.
In 2023 I also learned to set boundaries, I forgave myself for some dumb shit, and I let go of lots of what was no longer working. Importantly, for my writing, I’m finding the right amount of self-promotion and self-preservation.
It can be tempting to want to avoid putting our head up where it can be lopped off, but where’s the fun in that? Why should we hide because someone wants to be a jerk? Being seen is our birthright and kind of important for anyone wanting to make a career in the arts.
The tall-poppy syndrome is alive and well and any amount of sticking your head over the parapet could result in someone launching a grenade at it for whatever reason.
We don’t have to earn or deserve love and we don’t have do things for people to be worthy of respect. Respectful people give respect, even when presented with a boundary. Kind people are kind, even though it can be a tall order in the face of abuse and rudeness.
Some people mistake kindness for weakness and gentleness for lack of intelligence but that’s where boundaries come in handy. Jesus might have turned the other cheek but when someone shows you who they are the first time, it pays to believe them.
I was listening to a podcast recently and there were two writers being interviewed by a third and quite famous writer. There were two women and a man and each agreed that 99% of their abusive comments came from male profiles and around 90% of their negative comments and criticism came from male profiles.
What’s that about? Are males more discerning? Are they more likely to pick holes in things and have the confidence to comment on it? Are females more kind and nurturing? Do they just want to kick up a fuss and sit back an watch? Maybe? Who knows.
I am wondering though if men should be banned from using social media.
I don’t know answers to any of the above. I don’t have a problem with receiving criticism – hell, I’m writing a book on the importance of it, but when it comes to ad hominem attacks, especially of the violent and gendered variety and unfair criticism, all our mums were right when they said ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’
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