Regrets.

I’ve been doing last minute proof reading of my novel before the print version is made and it hit home the theme of the story; regret. Of course, I didn’t realise it was the theme until after I’d written it.

Piaf had none. Sinatra, too few to mention. We’ve all got at least one.

Is it true we only regret the path not taken? I have definitely regretted some paths taken but the older I get the more I look back and see the bullets dodged through my “mistakes”.

The real regrets are the times I didn’t back myself, didn’t go for the note even though I knew I could hit it. If they made a movie of my life it could be one of those time-warp movies where I wake up back in high school and I’d go for that note. Oh, god, what a nightmare to be back in school.

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I registered my business today. I finally found a name I liked that hadn’t already been snapped up. My very own, fledgling publishing house is called…drumroll please… Time Step Press. In an ironic twist we did time steps at tap class tonight and I sucked at it. I videotaped Shaun, my teacher, and I kept trying when I got home. And I got it. And so it is with writing, with publishing, with all this blogging. I’ll suck again when I try it tomorrow but then I’ll get it again. Then I’ll suck…but eventually it will stick. That’s how it works. Each time I write something it gets a little easier but the true power comes in not stopping, writing daily and getting it out there. And each day hopefully sucking a little less.