Another round of self-sabotage, please!

Nanowrimo has given me a whole new opportunity to self-sabotage. Okay so this is definitely a #firstworldproblem but I’ve been stressing over the following

1. My boy is away. I’ve been comfort eating because I’ve been nervous about my ONLY CHILD galavanting around Europe, getting drunk and enjoying himself. Not unlike what I did when I was young. In fairness, my mum had lots of kids so probably didn’t really worry too much… 😉 I’ve been working on clearing old Family Karma. I was a clingy kid and I’m a bit of a clingy mum. The boy was a little homesick and I’ve been working on releasing the binds and fear of loss without releasing the love 💕
2. Hubby is working long hours. Our business is well, busy. And with the boy away, hubby has to step into the breach. Son, if you’re reading this, and you’re probably not, but if you are, don’t worry – your job is secure! I sure hope he’s ready to work hard when he gets home!
3. My house is really challenging to keep clean. I know, first world problem…sigh.
4. Nanowrimo has really challenged me this time. I did 40K words in April, smashing it out quite easily…but I have just realised that I was writing in a FUTURE setting and now, I am writing historical fiction so it really is going to be more challenging.
5. I’m writing this blog – which I LOVE – and I wasn’t doing this in April, plus I am working in the office for 3 or 4 hours a day, creating a new roster system and basically doing stuff that hubby hasn’t time for. I am not sure how regular people with jobs or little kids do Nano. Hats off to you!

So even though I am approaching halfway through the #last90days and I am happy with what I have achieved and where I’m at, I am going to give myself a little break. I am waaaaay harder on myself than I would be on another person. Aren’t we all?

Here’s a little vid with Brad Yates helping us to move past self-sabotage. Brad says something I’ve heard before. He says that our self sabotage is keeping us ‘safe.’ It sounds crazy, but the more you think about it, it makes sense. We learn to sabotage change because most of us are taught to fear change very early on.

For my Nano novel, (working title The Circle of Ashes) I am learning a lot about Neolithic and Mesolithic era France and Britain. I have bitten off quite a bit here and kinda wished I had done more prep! Considering my prep consisted of making a Pinterest board, I probably could have done more…

Here’s a link to an article about Avebury, an incredible Neolithic settlement with standing stones and ditches, and a village that has grown up within it over the centuries. I visited Avebury one very cold morning in April 1998. The pub is nice and warm and back then they did a lovely breakfast. I wish I’d paid more attention to the stones and lest to how bloody cold it was!